Last Updated on March 30, 2022
The truth behind a military wedding
A military wedding is no ordinary wedding. In fact, most military couples end up getting married in secret before telling their family and friends. This is typically done to maintain somewhat of a tradition and expectation. If your civilian friend is living overseas with his/her significant other for longer than a few months, there’s a pretty good chance they might be married in order to live a sane and healthy lifestyle. To live overseas without being affiliated with the military results in many restrictions. You are unable to go on base or roam around base without an escort, you must get frequent guest passes, you are unable to shop at any stores on base, you are unable to get healthcare, and plenty of other boundaries. For some, this may not be an issue, especially if you’re living off-base in a well-sustained area.
#1 – Our actual military wedding
For me and my fighter pilot, we found it to be most beneficial to tie the knot sooner rather than later. We did not get married in secret, like many military couples do before their “actual wedding”, but decided to make it an official celebration. I found a white summer dress at a local Italian mall, got ready in separate rooms of our Italian house, met near a beautiful area near a small chapel to have our “first looks” and to take pictures, and then headed to the courthouse in the small town of Aviano, Italy, a few towns away from where we lived. Most of the hubby’s squadron attended the ceremony and we toasted and celebrated at a small bar across the street from the courthouse. Later that evening, we went out for a delicious Italian dinner and tiramisu. It was a magical day and we could not have asked for anything more perfect (except for our families to be present). Fun fact: Our marriage certificate will forever be filed away in the city of Rome!
#2 – Our immediate family wedding celebration
About a month after our official military wedding, our immediate family came out to Italy to not only meet for the first time, but to have another little wedding celebration for us. We traveled all over Italy. For our wedding celebration, we rented a beautiful villa in the heart of Tuscany. The late summer day was quite brisk, so we stayed in and enjoyed the scenery. That evening, we enjoyed an amazing and cozy home-cooked multi-course Italian meal that an Italian chef cooked in our villa’s kitchen for us. We toasted, opened some wedding cards/gifts, fed each other dessert, and had a very merry time celebrating with our family.
#3 – Our Michigan wedding “pre-actual” celebration
We stayed in Italy for a few more months before moving to Las Vegas for a class the hubby was accepted to. We stayed in Vegas for six months, where I only got to see him about one day a week (didn’t even feel like we were married). Once he graduated from his class, we headed to my home state of Michigan en route to our “actual wedding celebration” that would take place later that week in New York City. We had a lot of family on my side that was in town where we did a few joint celebrations of birthdays and our wedding with a quaint backyard BBQ at my grandma’s house. Most of the family at this celebration was unable to make it to our actual wedding celebration to follow that weekend in New York City. It was nice to have a chance to see everyone and celebrate in a smaller capacity than we would have if just at our larger celebration to follow.
#4 – Our New York wedding “actual” celebration
Going into our wedding back in Italy, we really anticipated that regardless of us getting married ahead of time overseas, that family and friends would still view our “actual” planned-out wedding celebration as our formal big day. I purchased a beautiful, yet modern and classy, wedding dress, got my hair and makeup done, put on my pearls and something blue, and got ready to say “I do”. Just kidding, I had to (it rhymed). No, we did not have a ceremony, but had an official reception later that evening on rooftop in NYC overlooking the Empire State Building. The venue was absolutely magical and out-of-this-world! Literally, this day was the definition of perfection!
The hubby and I started dating in NYC back when I lived there before moving to Italy. I had so many wonderful memories of the city. We booked a photographer to go around the city with us for the day to just take fun and candid pictures of us together roaming the most incredible place in the world. We wandered through Times Square, hailed a taxi to 72nd street and Central Park West, ran through Central Park, went down to Brooklyn to see the NYC skyline, stopped for an acai bowl at the Timeout Café (seriously, such a crazy risk eating an acai bowl in my wedding dress!!!), then had fun in the Subway, before heading to our reception.
Unfortunately, a lot of our family and friends did not make it to this celebration. For some, it was completely understandable – health or financial situations. For others, we were a little disappointed that more didn’t show and really found a clear vision of who truly cared about us. (Seriously, some of the excuses we got…). Anywho, we didn’t let that ruin our day. We had the most amazing family and friends attend that we celebrated with all night long. The reception was very modern and laid-back. We had cocktail tables and lounge furniture, food stations consisting of some of our favorite foods, a cake from Milk Bar (YUM!), macarons and tiramisu, a live jazz band that played all of the New York jazz classics, and more! Seriously, even though some didn’t view this as our big day, it was our “second” big day and was perfection.
#5 – Our New Mexico wedding “POST-ACTUAL” celebration
Shortly following our New York celebration, we headed to New Mexico en route to our new assignment in South Korea. The hubby’s family put on one last wedding celebration for us for those who were unable to make it to New York. We did a [New]-Mexican fiesta and had so much yummy food while celebrating and meeting some of the family for the first time! At the end of it all, we relaxed by the pool before closing the wedding celebration chapter of our life and embarking on our next journey.
As out-of-the-ordinary that our wedding celebrations were, we got to extend our big day throughout the whole entire year. Who wouldn’t want five wedding celebrations?! It was frustrating to not have everyone altogether at one celebration. Though, our initiation of marriage was just as unique as the life in our marriage. Looking back now, I wouldn’t change a single thing about our military wedding celebration. Being involved in the military has a way of making life a little different. Why not embrace it and accept that most things associated with this life will just inevitably be a little different? Always remember, it’s not the destination that matters, it’s the journey that really counts in the end. Most importantly, don’t forget to live, love, and laugh.
